FNI report: Finally it seems the end has begun. As Mr.Zahil keeps waiting for gazwa-e-hind across the border, his prayers have been answered by none other than the all conquering Bollywood community which has always been at the forefront of national and social causes. Our correspondent reported the Indian capital is preparing for the long seige and the CM of Delhi has already blamed Mr.Mitron for the rebirth of Timur.
The political and journalist class seems to be rattled by the news of Timur rising up again. Mr.Pappu has asked the government to share the evidence what led to the rebirth of Timur and why the intelligence agencies failed to stop it happenning and Mr.Rubbish Kumar was seen in the National Library researching and preparing a commentary on how Timur put India on the world map and how the capture of Delhi makes him the greatest invader ever surpassing the likes of Alexander and Genghis Khan. Nevertheless there are a few who have been long waiting for this moment to arrive. We spoke to Ms.Kiran Jauhar and she said she was so close to Timur’s family that she actually felt the pain for 9 months, how she has been looking forward to this moment and cannot put to words how relaxed and happy she is feeling now. She still fondly recalls how she accompanied the Khans on their Honeymoon. She also added that she is looking forward grooming the young Turk under her shadow and will leave no stone unturned to make him as strong as iron. It is also heard but could not be confirmed that she will be launching him in her next film, “My son is Khan”.
Meanwhile as Timur’s news spread like a wildfire, it has become the most popular name. Following closely are Osama and Aurangzeb. We spoke to Mohandas Gandhi who is from Porbandar and has named his son Mohammad Ghori, how he feel about the trend to name new borns after historical figures. He said while there is still some demand of some Latin or Greek or any exotic name, going back to our roots and neighbourhod is a welcome change. He plans to name his second son Genghis. He was also very critical of his neighbour Mr.Tareekh Fatty-eh naming his daughter Laxmi. He said, “How can somebody name his girl Laxmi. Is he even aware of who she is or what does it mean? He is some rich, ignorant weird celebrity who has no understanding of history and religion.”
Our correspondent, Chaudhary Sudheeraj visited Timur’s family and reported that Timur captures joy with his beautiful smile and is highly capable of melting Delhi walls with his most captivating smile. With his melting weapon he would be as dangerous as his father and grandfather and the girls should specially be beware. Fake News India sends the little hero tons of good wishes of health and blessings.
News coming in just now: Mr.Zahil has reached Israel on his winged horse and carrying a golden sword and was seen asking for directions to Delhi. He says his dream of gazwa-e-hind will soon be fulfilled and he could proudly write it in his autobiography that he lived in the times of Ghori, Aurangzeb, Osama and Babar.